Remembering Dolly
By Nanci Nowicki Rountz
October, 1996
Dolly and I met in the fall of 1973, during our freshman year at Wellesley collage. We both lived on the first floor of Pomeroy Hall. One morning we found ourselves together and sat talking for more than an hour. I think that we became friends right there and then, though we came from very different background. Dolly was not like anyone I knew. I remember particularly being struck by the contradiction between how she appeared --small, frail, very feminine -- and how she was -- strong, sure, independent. I sensed even than an underlying seriousness of purpose that was extraordinary.
There were so many different kinds of students at Wellesley, and Dolly and I had many different friends. But always we sought each other out, and our friendship deepened as we got to know each other better. I loved learning about Taiwan and Chinese history, culture, and food through Dolly. She loved her country above everything! As an American who had always take freedom from tyranny and oppression for granted, it was inspiring and sobering to hear Dolly talk about her country's history and her hopes for it. She often expressed the desire to return to Taiwan and enrich it somehow, to help it to its rightful place in the world. She always had Chinese songs playing on her cassette player, some kind of unusual food to pass around. She was unfailingly generous, and loved to share whatever she had.
One of the things that most amazed me about Dolly was that although she worked very, very hard on her studies, she always made time for fun and relaxation. She was forever going to some party or another on the weekends, making friends everywhere, talking for hours on the phone. And so she could never be categorized as the kind of student who got good grades but did nothing but work. She worked hard, yes, but she found balance in her life by reaching out to other people and enjoying life to the fullest.
During spring break of our freshman year, Dolly accompanied me to my parents' house on Long Island, New York. We spent a day shopping in Manhattan part of the time looking around at clothes and various things, and part of the time in Chinatown buying provisions. One of the most baffling things about about Dolly was that although she would protest vehemently at the prospect of walking more than a block or two on the way to a particular destination, she could walk literally for hours on end if shopping were involved. I am just the opposite. I can hike all day or walk from one end of a city to the other, but I cannot bear to shop for more than an hour or two. So it was an interesting day, to say the least, I ready to collapse by noon, she completely energized by all of the marvelous stores in New York City! Fortunately, we got a break at lunchtime and had a fabulous meal in Chinatown. The following day we prepared an enormous and fairly complicated meal for my family. We worked almost all day in the kitchen and served a true feast to my family. They enjoyed both the meal and the chefs.
Our friendship continued through our sophomore year and, by mail, through our junior year which I spent in Paris. I returned to Wellesley in the fall of 1976 for our senior year. Dolly was in the process of applying to law school. Gaining acceptance to one of the elite U.S. schools would not be difficult for her. She had compiled a superb academic record at Wellesley, having been named to Phi Beta Kappa halfway through her senior year. She had performed well on the LSAT's, the standardized law school entrance exam. In addition, she had demonstrated through her on- and off-campus activities that she was well-rounded and interesting.
By the time of her senior year Dolly was more focussed in her studies and knew exactly where she wanted to be and why. I remember being amazed, once again, by her capacity for work. She would study until midnight or later. Then, when she might have a headache from eyestrain and sleep deprivation, she would finally decide to go to bed, but only after setting her alarm for 5:30 a.m. to get up and study in the morning. And she would get up again and keep at it. But it was always she, too, who remembered someone's birthday and organized a party She took it upon herself to look after several students who needed some advice or attention. In short, she was always there for other people.
In the spring of our senior year Dolly threw a large dinner party to thank those teachers who had most inspired and encouraged her in her studies. Once again I was called into action as sous-chef, and we worked for days in preparation for an enormous dinner party at Slater House. The party was a tremendous success, and it was so typical of Dolly to think of a tangible, social way to express her gratitude and affection for her mentors.
Dolly went on to Harvard Law School, having been accepted not only there but at every other school to which she had applied. I returned to New York, four hours away, and saw her often. I recall the tremendous amount of preparation that went into her briefs for the Jessup International Moot Court Competition, whic she and her team went on to win. She continued to work hard and make new friends. I emember her solicitude for her sister, Polly, who was then an undergraduate at Cornell University. Dolly wanted so much for Polly to succeed as Dolly had. But she seemed to find it hard to reconcile her desire for Polly to do well in her studies with her almost maternal wish that Polly be relieved from some of the worries that Dolly had experienced. At the samethings come too easily. Dolly was rather complicated.
Dolly returned to Taiwan in 1982, the year my first son was born. We were living very different lives at that time, she very involved in her work and I very involved with my family. We were not in frequent contact, but we did see each other a couple of times. The last time I saw her before her illness was in California in 1989. She was very happily married to John, but was concerned about whether or not she could have children, which she strongly desired. I was delighted when I learned of An-Chi's birth, and later Lu-An's.
Though our final meeting was overlaid with sadness, we had several wonderful days together in California the summer before she died. An-Chi and Lu-An were with her. It was satisfying to see her thoroughly enjoying her role as a mother and to get to know her beautiful children. I was amazed at how well she was faring -- when I understood all that she had been through it seemed impossible that anyone could retain such a positive outlook and zest for life. She still wanted to go shopping! I laughed and laughed as she recounted how she had decorated her Palo Alto apartment by catalog shopping from her hospital bed.
One night we went out to dinner alone and she revealed that she had just learned that her blood once again showed the presence of cancer cells. Her principal concern seemed to be how she would break this news to her family, for she didn't want to distress them. There was an inexplicable calm about this. She was matter of fact about the news and its implications, but also steadfast in her determination to continue to fight.
Dolly accomplished so much in her life, her memory will live on in both her family as well as the many people she helped so willingly and graciously. I know that I will always be inspired by her example.
紀念Dolly
作者：南奇·諾維茨基·朗茲
1996年10月
Dolly和我是在 1973 年秋天認識的，當時我們在衛斯理大學讀一年級。 我們都住在波默羅伊大廳的一樓。 有一天早上，我們坐在一起聊了一個多小時。 我認為我們當時就成為了朋友，儘管我們來自非常不同的背景。Dolly和我認識的任何人都不一樣。我記得特別震驚的是她的外表——嬌小、脆弱、非常女性化——和她的內在——堅強、自信、獨立之間的矛盾。跟她相處後，我甚至可以說，在她看似嬌弱的外表下，內心卻潛藏著一股非凡的堅毅。）
衛斯理有很多不同類型的學生，Dolly和我有很多不同的朋友。但我們總是互相尋找對方，隨著我們對彼此的了解越來越深入，我們的友誼也加深了。我喜歡學習透過 Dolly 了解台灣和中國的歷史、文化和美食。她愛她的國家勝過一切！作為一個美國人，我一直認為免於暴政和壓迫，這是理所當然的，她經常表達回到台灣並以某種方式豐富及幫助台灣前進的願望，幫助台灣在世界上獲得應有的地位。她的錄音機裡總是放著中文歌曲，還有一些不尋常的食物可以傳遞。她總是慷慨大方，喜歡分享她所擁有的一切。
Dolly最讓我驚訝的事情之一是，儘管她學習非常非常努力，但她總是抽出時間來娛樂和放鬆。她總是在週末去參加一些聚會，到處交朋友，在電話裡聊上好幾個小時。 所以她永遠不能被歸類為那種成績好但除了工作什麼都不做的學生。 是的，她工作很努力，但她透過與他人接觸並充分享受生活來找到生活的平衡。
大一春假期間，Dolly陪我去父母家紐約長島的房子度假。我們花了一天時間在曼哈頓購物，一部分時間逛逛衣服和各種東西，一部分時間在唐人街購買食物。Dolly最令人困惑的事情之一是，儘管她會強烈抗議於要去到某個特定目的地，而這個地方要走超過一兩個街區；但若是沿路有購物的地方，她則實際上可以連續步行好幾個小時。我恰恰相反。我可以徒步一整天，或從城市的一端走到另一端，但我無法忍受購物超過一兩個小時。所以這是有趣的一天，至少可以說，我在中午之前就打算崩潰了，而她卻因紐約市所有奇妙的商店而完全充滿活力！幸運的是，我們在午餐時間休息了一下，在唐人街吃了一頓美食。第二天我們準備替我的家人準備一頓豐盛且相當繁複的餐點。我們在廚房裡忙了幾乎一天，只是為了替我的家人準備一頓真正的盛宴。我的父母親對這頓飯和廚師都很滿意。
我們在學校生活的友誼一直持續到大二，並透過郵件一直持續到我在巴黎度過的大三。1976 年秋天，我回到衛斯理大學讀大四。那時Dolly正在申請法學院。Dolly要獲得美國一所精英學校的錄取，對她來說並不困難。她在衛斯理大學取得了優異的學業成績，並在大四中途被提名為美國大學優等生榮譽學會會員（Phi Beta Kappa）。她在法學院入學考試（LSAT）中表現出色。此外，她透過校內外的活動證明了她在功課上的全面發展和對生活方面的熱愛。
到了大四的時候，Dolly更專注於她的學習，並且清楚地知道自己想去哪裡以及為什麼朝這方面前進。我記得我再一次感到驚訝是看到她的認真。她會讀書讀到午夜或更晚。然後，當她可能因眼睛疲勞和睡眠不足而頭痛時，她最後會選擇上床睡覺，但前提是她會把鬧鐘設在凌晨5點30分，以便一早起床再繼續讀書。她會再次站起來並堅持下去。但也總是她記得某人的生日並號召一場生日聚會。簡而言之，她總是在別人身邊並關心他們。
在大四的那年春天，Dolly舉辦了一場大型謝師宴，以感謝那些在學習上給予她許多啟發和鼓勵的老師們。我再次被任命為副主廚，我們準備了好幾天，預定在斯萊特屋（Slater House）舉辦一場盛大的晚宴。這場晚宴取得了史無前例的好評，這就是Dolly，她會用一種切實可行的社交方式來表達她對老師們的感激。
Dolly繼續進入哈佛大學，她不僅被哈佛法學院錄取，也被她申請的所有其他學校錄取。我回到了四個小時路程的紐約，經常見到她。我記得她為傑賽普國際模擬法庭競賽（the Jessup International Moot Court Competition）所做的大量準備工作，最終她和她的團隊贏得了比賽。我看到她仍持續努力學習並同時結交許多新朋友。我記得她對姊姊Polly的關心，她當時是康乃爾大學的本科生。Dolly非常希望Polly能夠像Dolly一樣成功。但她似乎發現很難調和她對Polly學業成績好的渴望與她近乎母性的希望Polly擺脫Dolly所經歷的一些擔憂。同時，事情來得太容易了。Dolly的心情相當複雜。
1982年，Dolly回到台灣，那一年我的第一個兒子出生了。那時我們過著截然不同的生活，她非常投入工作，而我則非常投入家庭。我們聯繫並不頻繁，但也見過幾次面。我在她生病前最後一次見到她是在 1989 年的加利福尼亞州。 她與約翰的婚姻非常幸福，但擔心是否能生孩子，這是她強烈渴望的。 當我得知安吉的出生以及後來的露安的出生時，我很高興。
儘管我們的最後一次見面充滿了悲傷，但我們還是度過了一些美好的時光
她去世前的那個夏天，在加州度過了幾天。安池和路安陪她。 看到她完全享受母親的角色並了解她美麗的孩子們，我感到很滿意。我對她的表現感到驚訝——當我了解她所經歷的一切時，似乎不可能有人能保持如此積極的態度和對生活的熱情。她還想去逛街呢！當她講述她如何在醫院病床上透過目錄購物來裝飾她的帕洛阿爾托公寓時，我笑了又笑。
有一天晚上我們單獨出去吃飯，她透露她剛剛得知她的血液再次顯示出癌細胞的存在。她主要關心的似乎是如何將這個消息告訴家人，因為她不想讓他們難過。對此，有一種莫名的平靜。 她對這個消息及其影響實事求是，但也堅定了繼續戰鬥的決心。
Dolly一生中取得瞭如此多的成就，她的家人以及她如此自願和慷慨地幫助過的許多人將永遠銘記她。我知道我將永遠受到她的榜樣的啟發。
留言
張貼留言